A few years ago, a CxO I deeply respected shared something deceptively simple, yet profoundly impactful:
“If you want to play at the international level, you need to associate with international-standard players. You can’t dream of playing international cricket while practicing with people stuck at the local level.”
At first, it felt like just another metaphor. But over time, I realized it carried a deeper truth—not just about ambition, but about the power of association. That conversation planted a quiet discipline in me: I started observing how the people around me—colleagues, friends, mentors, peers—influence my direction. Do they nudge me forward into my next orbit? Or do they subtly keep me anchored where I am?
Association ≠ Just Upward Aspiration
Let’s clear one thing: This isn’t about surrounding yourself only with “better” people. That’s a flawed and simplistic interpretation. It’s not about chasing shiny titles or success stories to attach yourself to. It’s about something much more organic and enduring—the quality of conversations, shared values, and mutual growth.
Recently, I watched a talk by Shyam Sekhar (Founder, ithoughtwealth) that added layers of depth to this idea. His message? The people you associate with have the power to transform your entire philosophy—not just in investing, but in life. Here’s the link to the talk if you’d like to hear it straight from him.
What I’ve Learned Along the Way
Here are the reflections that stayed with me—lessons that continue to shape how I think about people, learning, and growth.
1. Association shapes mindset—silently but surely
We often credit books and mentors for shaping our thoughts, but we forget the subtle and consistent influence of our daily circle. As Shyam says:
“Because of them I developed interest in investing… I shaped my economic view… I started seeing opportunities very differently.”
We don’t just learn facts—we absorb perspectives, and our circle defines what we pay attention to. I’ve come to believe: Everyone has talent. What truly differentiates people is perspective—and that’s primarily shaped by the people we choose to engage with.
2. Learning isn’t always top-down—it’s often shared
There are two beautiful ways to learn:
- Learning from someone (like a guru-shishya dynamic),
- And learning with someone—walking together, reflecting, layering insights over time.
Both are powerful. Both require the right kind of company.
In my own experience, I’ve often leaned into decisive leadership during a crisis. It helps, but it can also stifle collaboration. So, I now tell my team: “Even if I’m in tunnel vision mode, please stop me and offer your perspective.” Initially, they hesitated. Now, we’ve built a culture of trust. Their input has played a huge role in expanding my thinking.
3. Unlearning is as critical as learning
Shyam uses the analogy of layered learning—where we build understanding over time—but with the caveat that not all layers age well. Sometimes we need to peel off what no longer serves us.
This struck a chord. In my own journey, I’ve seen beliefs I held strongly a few years ago evolve or fall away. That process of “delayering” is only possible when you have people around who challenge you with kindness and wisdom. Additionally, I learned to keep old habits in abeyance. I don’t want to miss the lessons learned from those old habits. So, it is better to peel off or unlearn the old habits, but not forget them.
4. What sustains us isn’t performance—it’s enjoyment
In investing—and in life—we’re trained to chase results. But the reality? Returns come in lumps, not lines. What keeps you going isn’t the occasional win, but the enjoyment of the game over the long term. Shyam puts it beautifully:
“It’s not important to make very high returns in one year and then swing wildly… It’s important to enjoy investing for the longest period of time.”
It made me ask: In my work, relationships, or even learning, am I chasing short-term wins, or building a life I can enjoy sustainably? As long as I’m doing the karma without thinking of the fruit and enjoying each moment, then I’m living my life fully. I tried to address this in another blog here.
5. Consistency of personality comes from your tribe
Many people wear different masks: one for the office, one for investing, another in social settings. But that split weakens us. Shyam argues that having the right people around us helps us be one person everywhere—authentic, grounded, and whole.
“If you look at what makes you be that one person and not two persons—it’s the people around you.”
I used to believe it was better to maintain separate personalities—one for work, another for home, yet another for friends—trying to create Chinese walls between these selves. It required tremendous effort and put strain on every interaction. Looking back, I found myself confused: who am I really? Which self is my original self?
The intent behind these walls was self-protection—uncertainty about how others might interpret or judge me. Naval Ravikant once said it’s better to work with people around whom you can be yourself and “call a spade a spade.” It’s simply not worth spending productive hours being inauthentic.
The more I introspect, the more evident it becomes that breaking these Chinese walls and maintaining a consistent personality is the path forward. However, this authenticity comes with certain risks. One cannot call a baby ugly to its mother; similarly, openness and transparency must be balanced with empathy and situational awareness. Being honest doesn’t mean being harsh; it means being truthful with kindness. To be honest, most toughest part is being authentic but not being harsh.
6. See the divine in each interaction
This might sound spiritual—but it ties beautifully to consistency of self. There are two schools of thought:
- Adapt based on who’s in front of you.
- Be your consistent self, treating everyone with respect and authenticity.
I lean toward the second. It aligns with what the Bhagavad Gita teaches: Intent matters. Consciousness matters. I may not be able to change others. But I can choose how I show up—every single time. My Guru says:
See God in Each Other
If I can see the divine potential in people, even hard conversations feel lighter. Relationships grow richer. And that’s the soil in which trust grows.
Reflecting on My Orbit
Looking back, I realize how powerful that CxO’s metaphor was. Orbit shifts don’t happen just by dreaming big—they happen when we are surrounded by people who operate at the next level of thought, integrity, discipline, and purpose. Shyam’s talk added another layer: It’s not only about where your circle is going, but about how they go there—whether with curiosity, humility, and a spirit of learning.
A few guiding questions I now ask myself often:
- Am I growing with my circle, or outgrowing it?
- Do my conversations energize or exhaust me?
- Am I enjoying the process—or just chasing results?
- Is my tribe helping me move towards my next orbit—or anchoring me in the current one?
- Am I getting entangled in the local power game that others are playing?
In Closing
The right association is not about elite company. It’s about intentional, value-aligned company. The kind of people you can speak freely with—about wins and failures, about what’s working and what’s not. People who help you shift the conversation from problems to solutions. Who call out your blind spots with care. Who reflect, evolve, and learn alongside you.
These associations become the invisible architects of our growth—not through grand gestures, but through consistent presence, challenging conversations, and shared journeys. They help us navigate both the peaks of success and the valleys of setbacks with equal grace.
What I’ve learned is that the right circle doesn’t just amplify your strengths—it illuminates your blind spots, challenges your assumptions, and expands your horizons. They don’t just make you better at what you do; they transform who you are becoming.
“We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”
— Jim Rohn
The quote is well-known. But the lived wisdom behind it? That takes time, awareness, and honesty to embrace. And if we do embrace it—choosing our associations with intention and courage—it just might be our most important investment.