Imposter syndrome hits hard when you’re constantly doubting yourself, wondering if you really deserve what you’ve achieved. Over time, I realized it’s not just about fighting with our own thoughts but also about how others look at us. Even when you’re honestly trying your best, there is always this worry that people might think you’re not genuine. This extra pressure can really get to you.
As my career grew, I learned that managing others’ views of you is just as important as handling your self-doubt. If you’re not careful, even your honest efforts might be misconstrued. People might think your openness about learning or your struggles means you’re not capable or honest. This creates a tricky situation where being yourself, while important for growth, also means being careful about how you come across.
Many people say being yourself should be easy and stress-free. But really, it’s not that simple. Different people see things differently, and what you think is an honest effort to learn might look like weakness or fakeness to someone else. This can affect how people think about you and impact your career growth.
My Story: Learning and “Faking It Till I Made It”
When I started out, I didn’t know about terms like imposter syndrome or “fake it till you make it.” Looking back, I can see I went through both. One time that really stood out was when I had to build a device driver for a high-end-timer (HET) inside a TMS470 microcontroller. I had never worked on that before. They gave me just four weeks, and I knew nothing about the chip or its peripherals. Still, I confidently said, “Yes, I can do it.”
Back then, I wasn’t entirely sure about my skills. But I was determined to take on the challenge. So I:
- Started learning everything from scratch about the microcontroller and peripherals
- Asked for help from people who knew about similar controllers
- Worked closely with the chip supplier, not hiding what I didn’t know
Slowly, things started making sense. By the end of those four weeks, I had not only built the driver but also created middleware logic and presented it to senior engineers with 10-15 years of experience. I was surprised by what I had managed to do. At the start, I hadn’t fully believed in myself, but I had been honest in my work. I wasn’t trying to fool anyone—I was just working hard to learn and deliver good results.
Looking back, this feels like a perfect example of imposter syndrome. I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but I trusted that I could figure things out if I tried my best. It wasn’t about pretending to know things — it was about believing in my ability to learn. Now I understand that what felt like “faking it” was actually just an honest attempt at “making it” — and it worked out well.
Cheating vs. Faking It Till You Make It
This experience helped me understand the real difference between cheating and faking it until you make it. Cheating feels like fooling others—and yourself—by avoiding hard work and just focusing on looking good. But “faking it until you make it” is actually a way to grow. You show confidence outside while working hard behind the scenes to fill in what you don’t know.
The Imposter Problem
Imposter syndrome makes things even more complicated. Even after successfully completing that project, I kept thinking, “Did I really do this, or was I just lucky?” These doubts stayed with me, making me question whether I actually deserved the appreciation I received.
Over time, I learned to think about these doubts differently. Feeling like an imposter doesn’t mean you’re fake — it usually means you’re pushing yourself to do better things. When you’re uncomfortable, it’s actually a sign that you’re working on something meaningful.
Why How Others See You Matters
This experience taught me how important managing how others perceive your work is. Even though I was focused on getting results, I quickly understood that how people viewed my work was equally important. My honest efforts could have been misconstrued if I hadn’t clearly stated my intentions.
When dealing with imposter syndrome, you worry about people thinking you’re a fraud. This extra pressure creates a difficult situation — you’re not just trying to prove to yourself that you’re good enough but also making sure others can see your effort and growth for what they really are.
For example, suppose I had not properly discussed my process and progress. In that case, people might have thought I was just pretending without doing real work. But by being clear about how I was working and learning, I ensured people understood what I was trying to do.
This balance between being genuine in my growth and managing others’ views has become really important in my career. It’s not just about getting work done; it’s about making sure people can see your journey, your hard work, and what you’re really trying to achieve.
Shane Parrish’s Way: How to Spot Real Growth vs. Pretending (An Important Skill)
As I grew in my career, I realized how important it is to tell the difference between people who are really trying to grow (even if they doubt themselves) and people who are just pretending. This isn’t just about understanding others — it’s about building trust and working with the right people.
One approach that really made sense to me comes from Shane Parrish, who wrote “Clear Thinking.” After talking to many experts, he developed a good way to tell the difference between people who are pretending and people who are really trying.
The Questions to Ask
- Understanding Why They’re Doing It:
- These questions usually indicate whether someone is really trying to grow or just looking good.
- What made you want to do this?
- What does doing well in this mean to you?
- These questions usually indicate whether someone is really trying to grow or just looking good.
- Looking at Their Work and Actions:
- These questions help distinguish those who are really learning from those who are just talking about it.
- What have you actually done to work on this?
- What’s something new you’ve learned lately?
- These questions help distinguish those who are really learning from those who are just talking about it.
- Checking How Deep They Know Things:
- People who are pretending find it hard to explain things deeply, while real learners are usually happy to share what they’ve learned.“
- How would you explain this to someone else?
- What do people usually get wrong about this ?
- People who are pretending find it hard to explain things deeply, while real learners are usually happy to share what they’ve learned.“
- Seeing How They Handle Growth:
- These questions indicate whether someone is open to improving or just trying to protect their image.
- How do you deal with feedback
- What would you do differently next time?
- These questions indicate whether someone is open to improving or just trying to protect their image.
According to Parrish, pretenders mostly care about looking good and getting praise but avoid real work or learning. They want fame without putting in the effort.
On the other hand, people with imposter syndrome actually want to learn and grow but struggle with confidence. They might feel like they don’t belong or aren’t good enough, but they put in real effort, even if they’re not very confident.
How I Handle Learning and Imposter Syndrome Now
These days, when I face situations like that project, I follow a clear process to keep myself grounded:
- Be Open About What I Don’t Know: Instead of pretending to know everything, I start by clarifying to myself what I need to learn.
- Ask for Help and Find Resources: I’ve realized that asking for help isn’t a weakness — it’s actually how you become stronger.
- Focus on Getting Better, Not Perfect: I celebrate small wins along the way, reminding myself that getting better is a journey.
- Think Differently About Feeling Uncomfortable: When I feel unsure or not good enough, I see it as a sign that I’m challenging myself and growing.
- Check Why I’m Doing Something: I regularly ask myself why I’m pursuing something. If it involves real growth, I know I’m on the right track.
The Stress of Being Yourself
Being yourself at work comes with pressure, especially considering how others see you. People say, “Just be yourself,” like it’s easy, but it’s not that simple in real life. Even small mistakes can feel big when you’re always aware of how others might judge your actions.
For example, if someone sees you struggling to learn something new, they might think you’re incapable or not trying hard enough. This is where being yourself becomes stressful. You’re not trying to fool anyone, but people might misunderstand when they see you learning or struggling.
But even with this pressure, I’ve learned that being genuine is really important. It’s the foundation of real growth and good leadership. The key is to focus on my intentions, my effort, and my consistency—even when others might not understand your journey right away. Being genuine works out in the long run, but you need patience to deal with people misunderstanding you sometimes.
Final Thoughts: Choosing Growth Over Being Perfect
Looking back at my early experience, I now see how much growth comes from dealing with discomfort and uncertainty. It’s not about trying to look perfect; it’s about honestly trying to get better.
Dealing with imposter syndrome isn’t just about handling self-doubt — it’s also about managing how others see you. While being genuine is crucial for growth, I also need to make sure people understand my efforts for what they really are. Sometimes, I still feel like an imposter, but now I see this as a sign that I’m challenging myself. When I feel like I’m “faking it,” I remember that project: as long as I’m putting in real effort, I’m not faking it—I’m growing.
The real key is finding the right balance: staying honest with myself, accepting that learning feels uncomfortable, and taking steps toward your goals. After all, the only real way to cheat oneself is by not trying to grow at all.
Through my experiences and what I’ve learned from others, I now understand that managing how others perceive you is just part of the process. It’s not about pretending or fooling others but about making sure they can see your hard work, learning, and growth. In the end, balancing genuineness with managing perceptions is a skill I’m still working on. It’s not easy, but it’s essential to growing professionally.
By staying true to my values, being consistent in my efforts, and communicating clearly, I trust that my work will speak for itself over time.